Photograph of Health and Beauty
What does it mean to be “healthy”?
Health. Wellness. The two major buzzwords of the decade. Everyone is reading and writing about it, and everyone wants to be part of this “health and wellness” industry. Is it just a fad? Or are the lost souls seeking knowledge and broken hearts extending solace? I believe it’s the latter.
Our society has become so encumbered by disease and obesity, and fad has no place in the art of healing, although, everyone has an opinion on how to fix it. Beauty may lie in the eye of the beholder, but shouldn’t we hold ourselves to our best? I’d like to propose that health and beauty are one and the same.
The World Health Organization defines health as “a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity”[1]. Therefore, a healthy person would embody this definition. A healthy person is one who is living in a balance of physical, mental, and social states.
Complete does not mean perfect. Health is a continual state of being, and it takes a lot of work to ever be truly complete. Our bodies are in a constant state of flux, beginning from the moment we are born. Birth is a trauma to our bodies. It is an awakening to the stressors and demands of life. Yet, we describe it as one of the most beautiful experiences.
We flux between trauma and beauty. Yin and yang. It’s a balancing act called homeostasis. Life throws the kitchen sink at us, and we learn to cook the most decadent meal with it. Perfection has its place in life, in the rarest and ephemeral moments. But one’s health can never be perfect.
Toxins inevitably bombard our bodies every moment of life. Whether they come from the external environment, or our body’s internal environment in response to the process of simply breathing, toxins preclude perfection. But in our attempts to find a delicate balance, we can be complete and find beauty.
Health is a balancing act shaped by constant changes in perspective
Imagine your health as a camera that sits atop a tripod. I believe there are three pillars of health: anatomy, physiology, and psychology. Each pillar represents multiple (and interdependent) aspects of life, but each pillar contributes to the balance of the tripod. When one pillar tips, the camera is tipped, the perspective is shifted, and the photograph is skewed. How do you want your health to shape the photograph of a life’s moment?
In one photograph, you may see yourself overweight with a huge grin on your face, glimmering eyes, and arms around friends. In a second photograph the following year, you see yourself alone, with your body in ripped and athletic shape, eyes a distant gaze, and hands around a medal for the marathon you just finished running. You may look back at both or one of these with fondness or embarrassment. Either way, looking back should be just brief. How did you move forward after each moment and live presently?
Finding presence sounds easy in theory, but I think this may be one of the most difficult aspects of health that I have struggled with. Let me share two photographs from my life:
In 2018, I graduated from physical therapy school with my doctorate. I had time to spend with my family and ate everything on my plate during home-cooked meals with them. I was comfortable and happy being back in my hometown. I went to the gym every day to do intense cardio and lift weights. I was strong and agile. But my body hurt all the time and I was crippled by anxiety that seemed to get worse every day. There were days I didn’t know if I could make it through.
In 2021, I was three years into a successful career. I had Sunday night dinners with my family and picked half the food off my dinner plate because I had so many food intolerances. I cried sometimes afterward because I felt guilty for my lack of participation and excluded by my restrictions. I went for short walks 2 or 3 times a week. I had minimal pain with only occasional headaches anymore. My anxiety was significantly less. I had lost 15 pounds of muscle, fat, and fluid. But I was too thin for myself.
So who was the healthier Ali? I couldn’t say which. In the first photo, the scales favored a robust social life but a painful physical state, and a confused emotional being. I looked strong but felt weak. In the second photo, I had a strained social life but less physical pain and a clearer mind, and again confused emotionally because I was torn between where to find comfort; I looked in good shape but my body was the weakest I had ever been.
I’ve struggled to balance my health throughout my entire life. It’s part of my journey, as it should be. I have to constantly remind myself to live presently and be guided by honest intentions and expectations. The moment that marked a transition between these two photos was when my therapist asked me, “Why do you go to the gym?” My thoughts ran…Because I can’t function without it, I thought. It gives me temporary relief from my anxiety. It makes me feel strong. I’m supposed to do it. I’ll get weak if I don’t go and all my hard work will have gone to waste. I need to lose weight because I feel fat. I am fat. I feel guilty if I don’t go.
Ultimately, my answer boiled down to guilt. I felt guilty and wanted to lose weight. So every time I went to the gym, I was subconsciously telling my body that I am fat. That was the message I was conveying to myself. My intention was negative and my expectation was self-loathing. Health does not come from negative thoughts. So I had to turn around my habits and start over.
With that realization, I stopped going to the gym, cold turkey. I didn’t go for probably a year. This was one of the most difficult tasks I have ever asked of myself. Instead, I went for short walks. Why? Because it was relaxing for my nervous system. I had to ask and tell myself why every day. And you should too. Ask yourself why. If you are ever unsure about your intentions or expectations, ask yourself why. This radically shifted my perspectives about life. By being honest with myself, I try to make sure that I remain in the present instead of conflagrating the past or catastrophizing the future.
I can’t say that I’ve attained the state of health that I desire yet. It is a continual process that I’m learning to balance. I’ve been on a relentless mission for years to optimize my health. But I keep asking myself, when will I consider my health to be good enough? When can I relent? Because it can be quite exhausting.
What is “healthy enough”?
To answer this question, you must first determine what your health goals are. As life changes, your goals should be re-assessed as well. My goal in life right now is to heal my leaky gut. Every time my anxiety or pain flares up, I know it starts in my gut. On my toughest days, I continue to tell myself that my gut is healing. It takes time, but my body is figuring it out. I know that my symptoms are temporary. I remain in the present moment and know that my body is recalibrating and re-establishing my health. This too shall pass. My attention is directed here. Other aspects of my life may fall to the wayside for a while, but I know that I can seek them out when my body is ready.
It’s a difficult task in learning to trust your body. It should be so natural, and actually, it truly is. I think we just need to do a better job of listening to our body and respecting its wishes. Your body loves and protects you, and you just need to love and protect it in return.
If you enjoy eating chocolate cake for dessert as part of a social gathering, then by all means enjoy a slice! But don’t feel guilty about it. Don’t eat extra vegetables because of it or go for a longer run the next day because you ate the cake.
Your body is listening to the messages that you subconsciously tell it. You have just told your body that you were bad, that you were performing an offense against it. It will respond as such with defensive protective mechanisms, by turning that cake into shameful fat cells. Instead, enjoy that piece of cake without remorse and delight in the experience that you may enjoy a treat with people you love. Your body will feel treated and loved.
If you eat that whole cake and end up nauseous at the end of the night, your body is telling you that you went too far. First of all, no human can truly enjoy gorging themselves to the verge of nausea. That is a history of dysfunction waiting to be unpacked. Second of all, when your body evokes nausea, this is a symptom of your body crying out for help. Listen to your body’s plea and don’t do it again. Learn your lesson and move forward. Respect your body, for she will continue to respect you.
I think trying to be “healthy enough” isn’t the right way to speak to yourself. Instead, continue to establish goals, set reasonable standards, and respect your boundaries. You will continue to re-formulate after your failures and successes throughout your life, and herein lies the beauty. Be content knowing that life is growth, and it always should be until the end.
As a woman, how can you reckon your beliefs between maximizing your health and accepting your aesthetic beauty?
Most women struggle with their self-image. Most women are not happy with their bodies. Most women will diet sometime in their life in an attempt to lose or gain weight. It’s a rare day when I can say that I’m happy with how my body looks. One day, I’ll look in the mirror and think I need to lose the fat behind my thighs. The next day I’ll look at the same legs and think my hamstrings are too small.
As a young girl, I saw many women in my family struggle with eating disorders. I also grew up as one of the bulkiest girls on my gymnastics teams. Needless to say, eating issues and body shame were no strangers to my younger self, and the shadows occasionally haunt me today.
There is beauty in struggle and discord. Our outward physical appearance and energy speak volumes about the struggles we have faced in life. Though others may not perceive these messages, some can read them. I’d like to think that I am one of those people. I don’t know specifics about life stories, but I can feel the energies that individuals emit. I’m an empath. The shape, texture, and quality of the physical body tell me about the relationship you’ve had with yourself. The energy it emits tells me even more.
Most people have been disrespectful to their bodies. It’s a delicate relationship that is innate, yet has been tainted by cultural norms and social expectations, so unlearning and relearning how to live in a healthy relationship with your body takes lots of work and practice to cultivate.
Above all, forgive your mistakes and flaws. Each day is an opportunity to begin anew. One, establish your goals and aim to work toward them each day, but even if you forget to mess up one day, forgive yourself in the morning and try again. Two, set plausible standards. If a goal or daily task seems impossible, then this is too much to try to take on at once. Modify your standards and make them achievable so that you will have success. Three, respect the boundaries that your body naturally has.
Here’s what that looks like for me. I have other health goals outside of physical appearance, but since this has been the theme of the monologue thus far, I will keep with it. My ultimate goal is to be proud of my body and comfortable in my own skin. I would be comfortable at 10% body fat, but attaining that percentage would be impossible for me, and hormonally dangerous for a woman. So 20% would be attainable. I think I would be comfortable with that.
My standards are to exercise 3 times a week, lifting weights and doing cardio. But if I miss a day, I don’t feel guilty about it. I don’t sacrifice my sleep to wake up early the next day and make it up. I forgive myself and move forward as if it’s been done already. If I’m too sore one day, I don’t push through the soreness and do it anyway. My body is telling me it needs more time to recover. I listen and acquiesce. I skip the gym that day to recover.
I will continue to fail and face disappointments along my journey. Priorities will shift. But I will always respect where I’m at on my path. I will not judge myself for falling short or stepping back. I will pause to accept my place, stop to breathe, and then move forward as best as I can. This is how I will maximize my health and achieve balance.
When I am disgruntled, unhappy, or embarrassed by my aesthetic appearance, I can only turn inward and ask if I am being respectful of my body. If I am, then I put away my judgment and reassure myself that I am doing all that I can. This is beautiful. If I am not being respectful, then I forgive and keep moving forward. This is beautiful as well.
If you keep mistreating your body, you will never find it to be beautiful. Settling or succumbing to defeat is ugly. You will keep seeking the next fad diet to partake in to effortlessly drop that extra weight overnight, or seeking the next magazine issue that tries to convince you that being overweight is ok. Don’t stand in front of a mirror or a man and then demand from that person across from you, to say you’re beautiful. Beauty is an outward appearance, yes, but it quite literally comes from within. When you resolve to be healthy, your body will glow with beauty. And in this pursuit, you have wellness.
Live in peace, Ali
References:
[1] World Health Organization. Health and Well-Being. www.who.int. Published 2021. https://www.who.int/data/gho/data/major-themes/health-and-well-being
