I’ve been searching for my voice. People who know me well know that I’m stubborn and strongly opinionated. I’m not easy going. I’m critical of myself. At night, I struggle to fall asleep, lying bed overthinking my life trying to plan it out... Paralysis by analysis. I’ve been known as a perfectionist.

I will fight to the death for the people I love, but not for myself. Maybe deep down I don’t truly believe that I deserve to fight for myself, that I don’t deserve any of the things that I need and want.

This past year, I’ve found healing not in taking what I want, but rather letting go of what I don’t. Toxic people, untrue thoughts of myself, and most especially, others’ thoughts and opinions about the choices which I make and the directions that I take in my own life. With this, I find courage to speak my truth.

This past year was the most challenging year of my life. I had hit rock bottom, but the depths that I’ve overcome have allowed me to grow in unexpected ways. I’ve learned a great deal about myself. Through practicing showing myself more compassion and love, I’m finding my voice. I’m so proud of how far I’ve come. Every now and then, I look back to remind myself of where I began and the progress I’ve made and continue to make moving forward. I’m proud of you, Ali.

No one understands what you’ve been through in your life, the journeys that you’ve taken and trials you’ve overcome. No one will ever know exactly what you need. No one will ever fight for you the way you want them to. And no one will ever fight for you the way that you can for yourself. No one can ever love you as much as you can love yourself. I’m learning how to love myself. It’s not easy, but I know it’s worth it.